Aside from catering to the occasional client with a menstruation fetish, sex workers who experience periods can have a tough time when we start bleeding. Cramps can be made more painful by sex and clients aren’t usually making us cum, so we typically get none of the relaxing pain relief effects of orgasm, and most clients don’t want to see the slightest hint of blood. Rent needs to get paid and food needs to be put on the table whether we’re on our periods or not, so what’s a sex worker to do?
Before we can begin selling sex during our periods as well as during the rest of the month, we must overcome taboos around period sex. This is much easier for sex workers than for civilians, since our work is so stigmatized already. We can’t let our clients’ potential disgust or the ick factor we might experience for ourselves stop us from doing our jobs. In many places, the catalyst for overcoming any awkwardness is our period starting unexpectedly whilst we’re with a client or just prior to the arrival of one. When it happens last-minute there’s no time to get grossed out.
One of the most common things full service sex workers will do to be able to work on our periods, once we end up in a situation where we need to, is to use various everyday products to stem the flow of blood for short periods of time without being noticed. A regular tampon won’t work because it’s too solid and noticeable and won’t stop a client’s penis from getting blood on it – which means we resort to items not intended for use inside the vagina.
Unlike during sex that people on their periods have with their partners, sex workers generally strive for clients not to know we’re on our periods, so this eliminates many options. There are shallow menstrual cups with plastic of silicone around them, but these can generally be felt by a penis and require certain positioning during sex so that they don’t slip out.
At one brothel I worked at, they sold us toilet wipes which were only slightly damp rather than wet. These wipes were not too dissimilar to facial wipes, though they were somewhat easier to rip. The brothel manager would charge £5 for a pack if we didn’t bring our own. Workers would fold up these wipes into thick squares before inserting them and pressing them against the cervix, replacing them after every client or every couple of clients depending on flow. These were fairly effective at stopping clients from realizing we were menstruating, but had the downside of being hard to remove. Sometimes the wipes would break apart when you tried to pull them out and you’d have to flush yourself with water over and over to get them out whilst bearing down. Other times, they would get dry and stuck and pulling on them would result in abrasions to the cervix or vaginal wall… ouch.
In one horror story I’ve been told by various sex workers in my community, brothel workers even used the foam stuffing from a sofa as soft tampons to stop blood from getting onto clients. This is a more extreme example, but I’ve known enough sex workers who inserted used make-up sponges into themselves to believe it could’ve happened.
For sex workers with access to sexual health resources, or with enough money to afford appropriate materials for having sex on their periods, there is the option of a menstrual sponge/soft tampon.
These sponges are body safe and can be squashed into a tube shape so they can be inserted using a finger or two. Once slotted into place against the cervix, they act like a tiny absorbent cushion. They can’t be felt by a penetrating partner’s penis, though fingering deep enough may allow them to feel it!
When you want to remove the sponge, you hook a finger into the hole that’s cut into it and pull it out smoothly!
These sponges are gaining popularity among sex workers and some services aiming to support us are taking notice. In London, services like Spectra or groups like Sex Worker Breakfasts often have them on offer for free as supplies.
When these groups aren’t accessible and sex workers do have the money to get them online, the most important thing is not to use brands selling “sea sponges”. These sponges cannot be fully cleaned and result in bacteria being introduced to the vagina – seeing one client isn’t worth our health, especially when an infection might put us out of work for days or weeks!
Besides the risk of a client bailing upon seeing blood, periods can also be a source of pain for many people and result in more difficulties working. This encourages many of us to use painkillers to power through the worst of the cramps and still see clients, or to try to see a higher volume of clients in a short space of time so that we can spend the rest of our menstrual cycle curled up with a hot water bottle.
Many sex workers don’t want to have vaginal sex on our periods at all, even with the methods available to avoid the appearance of any blood, so one of the other options is to switch the kinds of sex acts on offer. Sometimes this might mean offering a blow-job only service at a discounted rate and other times it involves slightly sneakier but less reliable methods like talking to clients for a long time to use up the hour, giving an accidentally very expert handjob that makes them orgasm early, or talking them into a blowjob instead of other sex acts.
Most jobs won’t accommodate their employees taking sick leave for multiple days every month due to period pain and sex work is not exceptional in this regard. It is, however, possible for sex workers to try and arrange their schedule around their menstrual cycle if we work independently without being managed by a third party. For a few months at a time I’d cram in last-minute clients until the day before my period was due and then work on sex worker admin like profile updates and taxes once it started. Later, I’d spend months working through my periods because I hadn’t gotten enough clients for the month before it started and needed to make rent. So many sex workers are living payment to payment, so we can’t always make the job viable with up to a week off out of every four.
With better access to resources and painkillers and financial support, we can make working during our menstrual cycles less uncomfortable for sex workers. Of course, more than that, we must strive towards a world where no-one has to work when they’re not feeling up to it at all.
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