As is often the case with slurs, the answer is that if you feel the need to ask whether it’s acceptable to say it then you probably shouldn’t. Of course, there’s a little more to say on the subject, or it wouldn’t be worth an article.
The word whore is a slur for a person who sells sex. It is a more derogatory version of the term prostitute, which is also often considered a slur because the term is used in laws which criminalize the sale of sex and is used in a disparaging way. As with many slurs, these words are not only used to insult sex workers, but also to insult non sex workers by comparison to us.
Women are often labelled whores for being promiscuous, flirtatious, or for the way they dress. Misogynists will call women whores and sluts interchangeably, seeking to imply that they will have sex with anyone and not caring whether or not they imply that sex might be paid for. For many women who are used to being called whores, they feel entitled to reclaim the word for themselves.
Despite the fact that non sex workers are not the main target of this language, I don’t want to be dismissive of how often these comparisons to sex workers are used to degrade women. In the same way that women may call themselves sluts or bitches to take the sting out of these words, some do the same with the word whore because it is so often thrown at them. The problem arises from the fact that many people are unwilling to admit the actual meaning of the word.
What bothers me most when people call themselves or other people whores in front of me, as if they’re reclaiming it despite not being sex workers, is that they can’t even admit that the insult is about doing sex work. They dance around it, suggesting that they think it simply means someone has a lot of casual sex, as if they don’t know that “whore” is considered worse than “slut” because it makes a comparison to sex workers.
Personally, I don’t take issue with a non sex worker saying that June 2nd is International Whores’ Day, or with a supporter of sex workers’ rights repeating the slogan “no bad whores, just bad laws” – and these things don’t bother me because they acknowledge what group is being discussed and they’re phrases sex workers have created for ourselves. It is the flippant self-referential usage that drives me mad because the same people calling themselves whores and laughing will turn around and advocate for sex workers like me to be criminalized.
Involve yourself with real allyship with sex workers and learn about our fight for workers’ rights and freedom from stigma, and you will find yourself wondering about things that are far more important than whether it’s acceptable to call yourself or someone else a whore. If you get close to sex workers, you’ll see us cringe at the whorephobic insults in your vocabulary and maybe you’ll want to drop it out of respect.
I’m not interested in telling anyone what they can and can’t say, only in helping them realize why they’re saying it and what it means. Acting like calling someone a whore is the same as calling someone a slut isn’t a reclamation, it’s a capitulation to misogyny and whorephobia. By treating the word whore like it is the same as the word slut, as a way to reduce how insulting it is, you’re conceding that being a whore is bad.
There is nothing wrong with being a whore. Selling sex is not morally wrong. Sex workers are worthy of respect and love and support.
The next time you wonder if it’s okay to say the word whore in a given scenario, ask yourself what you’re implying by it. Are you being derogatory as a joke, thereby contributing to the stigma against sex workers for a laugh? Are you calling yourself one, even though you aren’t, to lessen the offence the word causes you by denying its meaning? Are you referring to a sex worker that way, with the excuse of the setting or time period you’re talking about?
I hear people use whorephobic terms all the time and I usually say nothing and silently seethe. I say nothing because I don’t want to have the same argument over and over. When I want to reclaim the word whore for myself, I worry that in doing so I will encourage others to use it, as if I don’t see and hear people saying it on a daily basis anyway. How is it fair that as someone actually getting fucked for money, I so frequently feel the least entitled to use it?
Is it okay for non sex workers to say “whore”? Depends on who you’re asking. People often don’t consider it okay for me to call myself a whore, even though I’m a sex worker. Sometimes especially because I’m a sex worker. I get flinches when I call myself a whore, because people know I actually mean it, while others get to say it casually and without remark.
I’m exhausted by hearing the word whore dropped in casual conversation by people who would never even consider doing sex work. Whether people continue to say it is up to them. I’m just tired.
Jack Talks About Sex Work 